Things are up in the air a little bit right now.  The least mentally-challenging tutoring assignment that I have is cancelled.  The 9th-grader decided he doesn't need help, and his parents are letting him make that choice.  We only actually met twice, but I thought it was a rather secured position for at least the next few weeks.  I guess I was wrong.  I'll try another student, if one comes along, but it was nice that it was in the same city, and that I knew what was going on.  (All these math classes are piling up and challenging me!!)  Also, I thought I could stay in my current rental agreement 'til I choose to leave, but I guess another girl is already lined up for my spot, and I may need to check out at the end of May!!  I'm not too worried, because I want to leave the 7th/8th of June anyways, but I totally didn't see this coming.

Why do people commit suicide?  (one of my student's close friends did yesterday) --- Don't they see that the absence of them is much harder on their loves one than their presence ever would be?  I know we all feel like we disappoint others or make their life difficult sometimes, but not to the extent that we should give up and cut ourselves off from everyone.  Maybe we need to share the hope we have in Christ, and the joy that He brings to our lives, so that others can receive that.

I haven't felt very sure of myself lately.  Not that I should, but more than I currently do, I believe.  Evidence of this can be found in my dream (aka NIGHTMARE) last night.  in it, a leader at school pulled me aside and was crying, and I could tell she cared a lot about me.  She said she really felt I wasn't do all that God has in store for me right now.  I tried to tell her my plans of changing, like going to Wisconsin for the summer.  That didn't do any good.  It didn't change how she felt, and she kept crying, and I felt awful.  I tried getting a hold of her- somehow she disappeared, but I could never find her again in my dream.  Can you tell one thing I'm afraid of?

------------------------- from-----tears----to----t eeth--------------------- ------------------------- -------

My tooth is fine- I went for the 2nd half of the root canal this afternoon, and I've had no problems this past week.  Bad news: there are more roots to be rid of.  I can't say I didn't hear that before, but I was optomistic and hoped it wouldn't come to be.  What I did learn is that it was most likely my braces that caused them (I had them for 4+ years).  So I'm losing the teetcrh that I was 'improving' before?  Parents beware: maybe you should save the money from braces, and teach your kids to enjoy life, with crooked or any type of teeth!
I'm finally getting the busy schedule I've wanted- now the 2 school jobs and 4 private in-home ones (well, closer to 3 since one includes a brother and sister).  That equals about 30 hours, but the per-hour rate is higher than I expected, so we're good.  That 30 hours is in-class only.  I've spent quite a bit of time on math and such preparing to teach.  Is this all boring?  It's what I think about. . . Also, I'm excited that Sav-On (like Osco or Walgreens) is having a sale on digital photos- w/ coupon: buy 5, get 5 free.  I printed 10 today, and am trying to piece together my life so far this year, photo-albumn style.  If there a picture I've posted on this page this year that has caught your eye, let me know, and we'll see about getting one to your hands!

Aaron and I went climbing (trees, not mountains) yesterday.  We had planned on going this weekend, but stuff came up- cloudy weather, hot weather, a wedding shower, you know. . . It was fun, and there are some huge trees here in Orange- bigger than I imagined in a teensy place like this- anyways, there's a pic on Aaron's site, and I'll post some soon.
I'm now tutoring some students individually.  That's an extra 3 hours a week, but it's almost double (the pay of) my other jobs, so I'm in pretty good shape.  It also takes a lot more work.  One is Pre-Calculus (aka collge freshman).  Aaron is using the same book, so I've been able to work w/ it, to know what she's struggling with.  Math sure can take a long time!  The other, I'm starting this week.  It's a 9th grader who's taking standards test in May, and has tested pretty poorly (50-something precentile).  I'll start w/ the practice/sample tests I've found online.
The weather's been nicer in the Midwest than here, and I'm happy for that- I guess it's been a pretty mild winter there.
Push on through!  I know most of the people here are coming up to the end of the semester, or are helping someone do so- hang in there!  Do your best, but don't stress out.  The effort you've put in so far should start to show.  Go, team, go!

Here are my people in Wisconsin (I chose artsy pics):

My brother Kenny, followed by my parents.  The computer I'm using doesn't let me ligthen the pic- but I love how they're walking- their expressions are really them.

Below are: 1)My grandpa (dad's side) 2)my grandparents (mom's side):

Here are the last two- first, Tan Dave and I, then Jamie and here sister Katelyn:

Life is good.  Not settled or perfect or the most relaxing, but who wants that?
It's warm and breezy today and I spent a good part walking or reading outside.  The other big part was tutoring middle-schoolers, and currently, it has been manipulating pictures.  Here is a cute one of Aaron and I, I think the same one we gave his grandparents- so think of it as a family thing, sharing current photos.

This one is of giraffes- they tried eatting palm leaves instead of their own straw at the nearby trough (you can see a corner of it to the right).  It was cute and funny- the taller one could grab onto the leaves, but the shorter one couldn't- but he kept trying, and following around the taller one, like he admired him a lot.

Wisconsin's great, and I'm getting a better grip of what I'd like to do with the next year or so of my life.  It basically includes doing everything (traveling to several places)- so when my thoughts are more firm, I'll share them.
Here's something fun: of the following, which are your top 3?  mention the letter(s) and/or number(s) in a comment before Sunday at noon, and we'll go from there.  If you have a hard time reading the #s or letters, the left column is numbered 1-20 in order, the right column, A-Q alphabetically.  Also, K= green sparkles; M=baby blue sparkles; N=silver sp.; O=multi sp.& glitter; P=gold sp.; Q=gold sp.& dashes

P.S. I kind of like my handwriting as part of this blog.  It makes it more personal; what do you think?

How are the imagined and real desert alike?  This is what I can sa from my experience of one weekend, to one part of a desert:  It is sandy, warm/hot, has sparse vegetation, cool mountainous areas, but flat besides that, it's so dry that the ground crackles (I just like that word better than cracks), and there are jack rabbits and oasises.  The oasises are like the mirages they depict in movies and such, when you're crawling through the desert and can't handle it much longer- w/ a stream and huge palm trees, so different than the rest of the landscape that it appears as an island.  The water source for these were natural springs, I believe- and there's a cool story about an Arab couple living there before, a while ago.  I think the man had a shot gun.  Wouldn't they get bored w/ just the two of them?  Wouldn't they feel isolated?  Anyways, there are some tiny blue fish that live in the water there that are picky- they die if the water goes below a certain temperature, like 75*.  So they're protected by the government- there's a fence around the whole thing.  But it's to keep big vehicles and 4-wheelers out- people can come in.  The sunset was really beautiful.  And there were a lot of beautiful flowers- I guess a lot of water flowed down from the mountains this winter, and so whatever seeds were waiting around got the boost they needed to grow pretty things.
This afternoon, I'm heading for home, or at least my parents' home.  It will always be home for me.  It's the first time I'll see them since January, and I'm excited.  It's for the weekend.  Midwest: Ready or not, here I come!