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| update |
| 08.29.05 (7:12 am) [edit] |
Sometimes I want to say so much, and other times, I'm at a loss for words. The main reasons I haven't updated for more than a week now have been 1) didn't want to complain or waste anyone's time 2) little access to computer. My life has not been horrible- in fact, there are many good things to share- and I will attempt to do that. I have also had a few hard times, and that was when I most wanted to update. I'll summarize it as: I think that people are insensitive and hurtful sometimes, but if it brings us closer to God instead of depending wholly on others, that can be a good thing. At some point, people will fail us, and food, videogames, and other things we try to fill up on won't satisfy.Amber and I visited the Twin Cities last week. I had time off of work, and she had some days free beforing moving out east, so we met up and headed out. I forgot how beautiful Northern Wisconsin can truely be. I also forgot my camera. Amber had hers, so when I get copies, I'll post them. Before I even picked up Amber, I had a mini-tour of her hometown. I saw the Red Mill, a picturesque place- beautiful in all seasons; Spencer Lake Bible Camp; the Truck Stop, and other key places. This was not intentional. You may even say that I got lost. But a local was heading her way, so I followed his truck and found her neighborhood, and we were off. Strangers can be cool, but it was also a little nerve-wracking, like who knows where he'll lead me? But I was more trusting and happy than anything. We got to Minneapolis later than planned, but it was Tuesday, therefore 'dollar theatres' were actually $1 instead of 2, so we hooked up with Tan Dave and watched the Interpreter. I'd already seen it, but although familiar, it seemed fresh to me. It was definitely intense, bringing up harsh realities like people for peace, or against tyrant rulers, or maybe even innocent, getting brutually murdered. The next day, we went to the Mall of America, home to both Amber's and my former job. To my horror, Haagen-dazs was closed, and there were no signs saying it had moved elsewhere in the mall. Besides erasing part of life history, it shocked me beacuse Minneapolis is the company's headquarters. Also, the Garlic Shoppe, our neighbor, was non-existent. :( Amber found a cute skirt at the Maplewood Mall, but we had no success even at GoodWill. We got back to campus (we stayed with Hope) and headed downtown. Still exciting and enjoyable, but not as huge as i remember. I think I'm coming off of a Chicago-high. Aaron and I had just been there earlier this month, and that is a BIG city. After that, we chatted in the CTZ lobby- saw some people we hadn't for 7/8 months, at least. For Amber, longer, since she was at Southeastern last fall- but she visited at some point. . . Then we hung out with Hope in the Northern Light (school newspaper) office, hanging plaques and chatting. Tan Dave joined us. Lastly, all of us, including Chuck, headed out for Applebees. We got full off of their half-price appetizers, and gender-divided conversations. I know the guys were talking about one of Chuck's controversial scripts, and Tan Dave was very impressed. I had a blast with my friends. They are all so beautiful and wonderful and I am grateful they'd share their time with me! Amber spent the night at my (parents') house Friday night. We watched Lemony Snicket- awesomeness. She left at 5 a.m. Saturday for the DC-area, but not before I could sneak some photo albumns in: I'd seen hers years ago, but somehow, she hadn't seen mine. Now she's safe out East and starts Pre-School teaching today. ------------------------- ------------------------- ------------------------- ---------- Since being back, I've spent more time than ever looking for a job. I've also gone to church, and talked with Aaron and attended a store meeting. I work almost every day this week, so that's kind of a nice change. My mom is home today (as in not working) because yesterday she and my dad were riding their bikes, and she fell and got scraped up badly. It seems like half her forearm is torn off :( . It's just the surface layers, so she didn't go to a doctor- she just cleaned it up and is trying to cope. It also scraped both sides of her hands, so if you'll pray for her healing, that would be great. She never uses her sick days, so it's got to be bad since she has. |
| 9 Comments |
| a quick rewind |
| 08.21.05 (5:32 am) [edit] |
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Work has gotten better. The boss that had been very critical is getting used to me. On the other hand, yesterday, I couldn't seem to get the hang of the new registers, so I asked a lot of questions about things I already knew, so I think the other manager thought I was incompetent or something. Yesterday was our 'Grand-Reopening.' But we didn't have any coffee, balloons, or specials to celebrate. Oh, well- a lot of people came anyways. Before that, I worked the hardest day in my life. A 7 1/2 hour split-shift, and 3 babysitting- I've worked longer days, but it was moving boxes, etc. I seriously felt ready to pass out at the end, even though I'd slept a good amount the night before, had a good breakfast and lunch, and drank plenty of water. I now have more respect for people who work so long and hard every day. I was thinking of Mom and Aaron especially, but also of people I've never met who don't have much choice in where they work. Before that, I found that one of our church's old music pastors had died on the way home from a prayer meeting. I dealt with God with anger and sadness- why does anyone have to have delayed death? Then i remembered those who have cancer, etc., that torments them for years, not hours. That didn't make me feel any better. But I believe we're born with a sin-nature, and that since sin is in this world, unfair, horrible things will happen. And also that we don't deserve to have easy/unafflicted lives. It's only by God's grace that anything good happens, and that we have the choice trust God for a better afterlife. The guy was Pastor Jeff Nath. I was 11 when he left our church, but I had a crush on him- he was nice, smart, and really just a great guy- I was hoping time could kind of stand still 'til I was old enough to marry him (he was almost 20 years older). But it didn't. he married a Hope- the first Hope I knew, but I didn't really know her, except that she seemed like a good woman. They now have two daughters, and they and Hope need our prayers to get through this. I found an AmeriCorps job (think PeaceCorps, except in the US, and a year or less instead of two years). Anyways, it was in Virginia, was teaching ESL full-time, and I was super-excited 'til I found out the position is full. Another dead end. Siberia's still interested in me, but God hasn't shown me yet about it. two years? If anyone would like tbucks, let me know- I have tbucks to spare. |
| 9 Comments |
| moms are the best sometimes |
| 08.12.05 (8:16 pm) [edit] |
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My mom understands me (usually). She knows that my, 'OK,' means things are going badly and I may need to share, but am hesitant to. A guy at work does not get me AT ALL. I understand that it is work, and should not be all fun and games, and that maybe he has other things in his life that make it hard for him to recognize the pain he causes others. I know I can be sensitive and that others who have grown up with a more direct-approach to expressing themselves may not recognize the more subtle ways I scream and cry. I know Aaron is still learning that language, and he's known me for years. I can't expect someone to automatically know what's going on, or relate well to me. It's just that I try to do things the right way, and get approval- I've always been better at getting along with adults more than kids. And I think guys more than girls- but not in this case. From what I've seen, I'm not pushy or fast enough for my boss. He likes/approves of a girl who is. I try hard to sell things, be friendly, work fast, etc., but he always has ways for me to do better. In a way, I think that's a good thing, because for most of my life, noone has really challenged me, but why does it have to be through something that doesn't matter much? Will someone's soul be saved by getting another credit card? I was thinking that today- how it's somewhat easy to convince someone to do something I don't even support, so why am I not focusing on sharing the truth with them, or something that has some value? I guess I'd get fired if I did that. But what if I did that on top of all the promotinal stuff? Hmmm. . . If nothing else, I am more motivated to look for a different job. Not one here, but my full-time one in the wings. I know it has to be there somewhere! I looked at jobs online, and the best-sounding one was a math problem-maker in CA |
| 18 Comments |
| birthday weekend |
| 08.10.05 (6:15 pm) [edit] |
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People rule, sometimes. I've had a great birthday-weekend. I enjoyed spending time with Aaron, and wish he didn't have to leave. It's so good to see people consistently. On Saturday, we took the Metra to Chicago. From Kenosha (currently the most northern stop on the line- maybe Milwaukee will be in a few years) to Chicago, a weekend pass is only $5. That beats driving and paying for parking! We went to the Chicago Cultural Center, which is beautiful and highly recommended, and Millenium Park (dedicated in '04). We then proceeded to make an icecream cake On Sunday we went to church, and then partied-hardy in the afternoon, celebrating 4 August family birthdays rolled into one pool party. We ate chicken, corn, fruit, and the aforementioned 'cake.' And swam, and talked. Everyone shared at least one Augst memory, and I wish we had a video camera or recorded on tape! After that, Hope came and we hung out and talked- very cool. Hope is great, and I'm glad she was able to stop by! Aaron and I finished Ice Pirates, a movie, that night, I think- it took a few tries, because despite the title, it's a snoozer. On Monday, Aaron read comics at the library while I babysat. We, along with Kenny, also pulled together a 'pool party' successfully. It started at 8, with the three of us and Ian, Kenny's friend. We played about 3 phases of Phase 10 before Sergei came, and one of Kenny's work-friends. Then it got loud, so we moved to another room, so if someone came, we could let them in. I don't know what happened to the 'leave a note on the front door' idea I'd had earlier. We talked and snacked for a while, and we never ate corn (we had so much left over from the day before). Finally, there was 7 of us, and we played Cranium. It rocked, and although there was a wide-range of personalities, etc., it seemed to be enjoyed by all. Shortly after one person left, another took his place, Serpe- the only other girl- and a new excitement filled the bunch. When she had to leave, there was a point at which I was overwhelmed by all of the testosterone- too many guys!! And we never swam- only Aaron wanted to with me- but I love people and hanging out and wish I would that as a full-time job! More, with pictures I hope- soon. |
| 2 Comments |
| through the clouds |
| 08.01.05 (6:36 am) [edit] |
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The kids I'm now babysitting for M-F are interested in God, their coach goes to my church, and they're fun, good kids. My 'real' job is not temporarily closing. We got another extension- this time to stay put until the new store is ready for us, hopefully the end of August. That is great- now I have an idea of what's going on for the rest of the summer, and I can have time off of work when Aaron visits! I still enjoy work, but I'm still more exhausted than I have been at other jobs (except maybe the bakery) afterwards, so it is not something I would like to stick with for years. I also like working with one manager a lot more than another. She is easy to talk with, smiles, and is encouraging. The guy, on the other hand, has a work-only relationship with me, which is hard for me to handle. I don't want to hang out with a him or anything, but he does not show any interest in knowing me as a person- only as a vehicle for selling our product, and that comes across harshly sometimes. It improved slightly yesterday when I asked him a little about his own life, but I see him laughing and chatting with other co-workers, so I don't know what the deal is. Maybe 'cause I'm new? I'm not that intimidating, am I? I haven't spent much time with friends this past week, but it seems like I've been busy nonetheless. I also haven't helped around the house too much. But it's getting better, starting with this past weekend. Aaron and I are doing well- we've had some good conversations. i can't wait to see him in person, and talk without phonelines between us! Church was good yesterday- the message about us serving someone- and when we try to balance that between two people or things (wealth, etc.) we begin to hate one- and I can see that in my own life, and that is not a good thing. And I think it's cool when husbands offer to hold their wives purses when they're out shopping. I've seen some cute couples lately.
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| 4 Comments |