things snow collects

The snow collects the good with the bad, as can be seen when it melts. This blog is my snow, holding onto my experiences.

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RAKs
11.29.06 (2:07 pm)   [edit]
This would be funny or perhaps witty if it were heard, not read, yet I'll continue:
The only RAK of mine you'll see are my Random.Acts.of.Kindness.  It'd be funnier if I were busty.  There's been a lot of kindness and love around and through me lately.  May be attributed to Sunday's sermon. dunno.  I've felt in my element and a lot more like myself this week than for at least months.  I kind of felt like something was off, but didn't really see it clearly until I saw what had been missing.  I think the me that was stagnant was the considerate, semi-outspoken side of me.  Sometimes it is good to say obvious things, like, "I appreciate you." or love. or like. hate? not so much- that tends to be more blatant- don't normally have to repeat that to get it through.  One thing about having such great friends and boyfriend is that it makes it harder for me to fathom anyone settling.  There are some people that treat their 'loved ones' like crap (I'm not excluding myself).  That sucks.  Who do we think we are?  Even if someone 'deserves' to be treated that way, when does it stop?  I've been thinking about love and kindness- and the great big effects it can have on the world.  It seems like it can just spin out- and pretty soon, so many hurts will be fixed, and there will be smiles and flowers everywhere.  What's stopping that?  Selfishness?  Hurt?  Greed? Incapability to accept love?  to pass it on?  I don't know exactly what it is, but I've often found myself as the recipient of love- but sometimes, I just revel in it- and don't even bother to think about others who could benefit as well- it's like a survival strategy.  Hold onto it- it might be the last time I get that love.  So wrong.  It's crazy how the same thing happens throughout life- like this love thing.  I learned this lesson long ago.  Basically the butterfly metaphor- grab onto it, and you crush it wings and it dies (or at least falls).  Let it rest on your palm, and it can fly on to others and continue living.  I've let that butterfly soar recently.  there's me tooting my own horn.
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same food, different company
11.25.06 (5:50 pm)   [edit]
We returned home today from Texas. I had the opportunity to meet Chris' family, and had a great time! I can't say that I know any of them well, or they me, but it has to start somewhere. High-strung is not a word I'd use to describe them. Maybe down-to-earth and friendly. Travel-story time!: Background: the trip was already short, 'cause we left Thanksgiving Day and returned two days later. Thanks-morning, we get to the airport maybe at 11 for the noonish flight. Our flights not listed on the screen at all. We check-in and all that- go to gate, and yes, we're told we're in the right place. Split a lunch. Time passes, kids play, and then we're told the plane is almost there- we should leave only a few minutes behind schedul! Great!! See tiny plane- people unload. Time passes. "Flight #### to MAJOR HUB, your flight has been delayed until 1:45- all incoming and outgoing traffic to is currently suspended due to weather." Not so good. This means we'll miss the connection and at best miss dinner w/ the fam and have a shortened trip. No thanks. Chris talks to agent and overhears someone going to Asia, who is given our Texan city as an optional route. We manage to exchange our tickets for ones on that direct flight. Praise God!! THEN, we go over there, and Chris checks w/ agent at that counter, to make sure things are good- that we're set, and it is 2 or 3 moniutes until another direct flight there is leaving, and she encourages us to hop on (with seats next to eachother, no less) and we end up at our destination city 2 1/2 hours before our original plans! Fast forward to our return flight. We go to check-in, and our itineraries are not found, 'cause our original plans had not been cancelled or altered to reflect reality, so they thought we hadn't come and didn't need a return flight. Not good. Fortunately, there was room on our original flight, and we made it on. Not only that, but we'd had seats 3 rows apart initially, and when the whole rescheduling thing happened, we not only got seated next to each other, but in an exit row!! Chris had enough leg room, and I had a good view out of the windows. We finished a good part of a crossword. So many details... So life is good, and I am happy, and hope that you are doing well.
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in the midst
11.21.06 (4:40 pm)   [edit]

preservation
self-preservation
selfishness
protecting others

I had a great weekend.  Checked out a new place to live.  Met some cool potential housemates.  Made it safely during the storm (referencing previous post).  Took a long time, but was safe.  Now I'm trying to stay awake.  Not too much longer here.  I'm trying to enjoy life now, instead of planning and hoping for the future.  I've been having an overall good time with that. :)
I'm expressive.  Maybe not to the extent of my favorite actor/-tress friends, but if you care to look, you'll know if I'm disturbed or gleeful.  I can hardly contain myself, sometimes.  Other times, I'm the smiling friendly person- and I don't need sunglasses to hide my hurt, because I can hold it together.  I'd rather not.  I want to be honest- and if I feel crappy or upset 1) I want to be OK feeling that way for that period of time 2) I want to (and will) get over it, Lord-willingly.  Of course, I don't want to bring others down, but it's not honest and it's even trapping to pretend everything's alright.  People suck sometimes.  I feel grey sometimes.  People are amazing and so worth loving other times.  People can radiate love.  Why do stiffed animals and little kids get all the hugs?
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i like driving in the fog
11.16.06 (3:43 pm)   [edit]

so, i'm looking at a place now that is around a 1/2 mile walk to two metros :)
There is one that I'm pretty excited about and it has some things going for it, but it's over 1 1/2 miles to a metro- and I'm concerned about friends more than anything.  I want it to be easily accessible to others.  I'll try to check out the place tonight or this weekend.  I'm driving into Arlington tonight to spend time w/ Chris & watch a movie (good thing for a rainy day).  We're currently deciding on dinner- yum!  I want mango w/ sticky rice for dessert, and we both like crab wontons (rangoon).  yay!

Life's good.  I'm happy.  A little worried about the roads, with the tornado warnings and the people who drive dangerously.  i'll listen to music, breathe deep, and make it there safely, Lord willingly.

Amber's moved out.  Or she is tonight, at least.  I'm bummed, and hope to see her again soon.  She'll be out of town for more than a week now, though.  It's strange to live life sometimes.  I'm excited about the new things, such as hopefully living close to a Metro now, but I can't help but mourn the losses or changes as well. 
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don't need good weather for good time
11.13.06 (9:49 am)   [edit]

My friends are
Ever-interesting and
Truly
Rational?
Or
Rather analytical.
Otherwise,
Call them
Keen &
Super.

winning and losing.
What is a good friend?  Is there an across-the-board definition?  Is it something like: "Makes life better for the party involved."?  Some college buddies have been visiting, and we've had a great time.  I'd like to think that I have a generally optimistic outlook on life, but when it goes so well, it's still hard to believe (but I won't complain).  Between spending time with them (& Chris), I've been in another world, and I'm still not totally present at work.  I've been busy, even doing more than usual for a Monday, but my heart & mind aren't here.  But now, the delivery I've been waiting for is- so I'll leave this at: Welcome to a new work-week, and if you enjoy your friends and boyfriends even half as much as I do, you're one happy person!
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youth & the relevance of age & experience
11.06.06 (10:03 am)   [edit]

42; 60; first time

what difference does age make?  If you were married 20 years ago and are still together or not?  or have never been married?  or never will be?  Does something happening make it the 'right thing' just by virtue of doing so?  Why are our lives so much alike yet so much different?  Why do some people seem to just stumble onto blessings?  Why is that me?  or is it more prescripted?  Does every decision we make affect the world at large as much as it seems sometimes (think: Butterfly Effect)?  Is it the large amounts of sugar that I've had this morning that's caused me to question so much?

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that would be a good disguise
11.02.06 (9:11 am)   [edit]
After leaving him behind in search of other friends, and discovering that the distance back didn't require the busride because it wasn't really that long, I scoured the neighborhood for him.  It was a combination of Uptown Minneapolis and St. Paul- ritzy, artsy and one of the women I was with I associate with that area of the country.  I finally find him- a thick, engraved gold wedding band on, along with a wig full of dark curls.  His whole ensemble is dark- he could very well have blended in, but for his face.  I would not think to wear a ring as a disguise!  But now I might.  The things we dream...
1 Comments
 
Wednesday
11.01.06 (9:51 am)   [edit]

I can begin to see why people talk about or actually do gain weight over the winter, and the felt need for shaping up for swimsuit season.  I'm sitting here at the front desk, and I can't remember all of the people who have donated candy for the bowl.  It's over-flowing, and I have 3 partial bags waiting their turn, while there are a few plates and bowls in the kitchen, and my stomach has indulged in its fair share.  Just about the time that the Halloween candy has run out, Thanksgiving will roll around, and then Christmas!  Will I be perpetually full?  Will I need to pick up some new work-out routine this winter/spring to be in shape for warmer weather and skimpier clothes?  Does anyone care?  Stairs sound like one way to burn calories, but not as fun as kissing!  haha.

It sure is beautiful out!  the myriad of leaf hues is amazing. 
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