I feel better today.  Not good, but perhaps by comparison.  I believe I had food poisoning from dinner Sunday night.  I woke up nauseous Monday, but thought it was one of those things that'll go away by 9.  Nope.  I had a headache, ached, diarrhea- blegh...  and when I left work at lunch time, I threw up on the Metro ride home.  I feel so bad for people that are sick.  It's one of the worst things in the world.  The long and short of it is I socialized w/ an upcoming roommate, current one & Chris.  Chris brought me goodies, including Pedialyte and sleep medicine.  I mostly drank and slept, and felt OK this morning.  There are still some things that aren't right, but I can tell I'm getting better.

The snow was so peaceful yesterday.  It really brightened my yucky morning.  I like how it blankets things- yesterday, trees were my top choice.

Some things I learned about expiration dates: some things last a surpirsingly long time! others, not so much.  This link is pretty good.  Eggs can last 3-5 weeks past date on container.  deli meat & fish spoil much quicker.  The former: maybe 3-7 days after purchase; latter: 2 days.  This is mostly because of temperature- stores keep colder temps, which meakes them last longer.  You can freeze just about everything- or have friends over all the time :) there's no need to waste food. 

Montag. Monday. I've been dreaming about my childhood dog regularly.  She's always 18 (her age at death).  The major theme has been letting go of her.  In the dreams, she's been healthy, but there was the understanding that she was old, and her time was soon.  I don't think I've grieved or processed it (much) in real life.  I somewhat accepted it as a fact-of-life, but by hardening to it.  Same goes for my brother's friends' dad.  I haven't forgiven God for that.  My brother has issues with our dad, and the closest male adult to a real dad was his friends'.  He was a great guy- caring, fun, knowledgeable.  A little bit of Santa Claus (in laughter and looks).  People from all walks of life related to and were loved by him.  Then, there was a fatal accident when he drove his motorcycle.  Now he won't walk his daughter down the aisle, or give his blessing to his sons.  Who will be there for his wife all these years to come?  I know life is fragile, among other things.  There are definite times when timing seems better or it makes more sense.  Like when a person is really old or really sick, then it seems a relief to let them go, or to at least know they've had time to live their lives.  but those other times, even when it seems to do some good for someone, really really suck.  I could take the perspective of our lives being lived much longer in a different form (not in our human bodies) but while that's a relief, it doens't change the reality of day-to-day life here-and-now (except for believing there's more than limited things i've experienced).

 i don't want your husband.
there is no appeal for me.  I think it's great that people are married and l am happy for them (generally).  when i see that a guy has a wedding band on, it makes me think that he is committed and showing love to someone, and I think that's great!  i know that is a rosy, ill-formed perspective, but why can't i be optimistic?  when people care about each other and obviously express it or at least their efforts to, I think that's great! yay love!  sometimes, we just caught up in our selves or who knows what? anything that doesn't matter all that much, and then things get messy and feelings get hurt... so yay for love and sticking it through (when not abusive)

The other night, I had a nightmare.  I have had good dreams as well, which is good- because that's one habit i don't want formed!

It mostly took place at work.  Some of the front lights were out (for some good reason, too).  An assistant for someone who works here freaked out.  She wandered around, asking where the lightswitches were.  How irritating.  Actually, i was annoyed 'cause she wouldn't listen to me.  I thought the lights should stay off.  I got so mad that I pinned her to the wall.  She was very upset, and I was going to be in big trouble (maybe fired).  so dramatic.  Later on, there was this reception having something to do with work, and I had this yummy treat.  It was in a beaker (like in chemistry class) filled with a dessert that was a purple and green frosting flower, with some petals peaking out- yummy!  Except I saw someone break her container (how else are you supposed to get it out? i sucked it).

That's it.  live the most out of every day.