Reality is more than perspective.  As much as I tried to convince myself that I could be exempt from the trend of guys sucking, alas, I could not.  Is it too much to expect to have a nice conversation?  Or to think that just because other close friends of mine have had sweet guys turn rotten that I could be immune?  Actually, the trend seems to be guys taking a step back or just lacking.  It seems like the season of girls seeking guys/romance (as one friend put it: "Fall is a cuddly time I think that's why girls are boy-crazy in fall (boys just like to see us wear less clothes that's why they are girl crazy in spring...").  It seems like a decent time for guy-friends, just maybe not commitment.  What has been your experience?  Is this limited to my circle of influence?  If there weren't so many other factors like planning involved, I wonder if more guy would prefer getting married in spring?  If sex is a main objective, I wonder if the season matters at all?

What's not to love about civil servants?  Or at least people who are friendly and helpful and seem to thrive off of making you happy?  The offices I have worked in have had some of my favorite people in the world working there as well.  Of the favorites, IT outshines.  Why is this?  Is it there knack for understanding and fixing thigns?  Is it their insight into the world?  Their friendliness and treating me like a fellow human being?  Their wit?  I say, "Let's have a national 'Information Technology Services' day."  Who really thanks them?  I was doing just that when a response was, "It's my job."  Well, still... maybe it's time to get baking again.  :)

Yesterday, I was walking around the National Arboretum with my parents (who were just in town for the weekend) when we experienced Bonsai trees.  I have a strong reaction to them.  In some ways, they are amazing and beautiful and mind-boggling, and in others, they represent humanity trying to take control of something and bring it down to what's manageable.  When you take something like a tree that normally can grow sky-high with roots and branches sprawling everywhere, a thing that not only is big and beautiful, but that can cause damage (aka falling on a house) and confine it to a small pot and constantly 'nurture' it to be less than 3', that is a pretty big deal/statement.  It takes the awesomeness and wonder of staring up in to the branches of such a tree.  Of course, it adds it's own wonder that you can walk around a room and have a whole forest of different varieties and they are all contained... It was a bit inspiring because some of the trees were gifts, such as from the King of Morrocco back in 1832!  It seems like a good idea to give something so magnificant and yet small... maybe we wouldn't have storage rooms or so hang onto so much junk if we didn't give junk or if we didn't get it for ourselves.  Maybe it would be easier to let go of less-intriguing items if we had bonsaiesque ones? 

Just a couple of quick things:

Boys are fun.  Although I have a brother and have had guy-friends, somewhere along the line, I've grown a distorted view of men.  Recently, being exposed to men from child through adulthood, I am learning new things and am reassured that they're special.  And thank God for families who raise their boys up well.

I really want/need a vacation.  I don't know how I'm going to make it through even 4 days of work this week.  I like my job & being part of something cool & pro-active.  It's not that.  I am not sure what it is.  Maybe the seasons?  Just feel like fall is overdue? Maybe I miss my friends?  It doesn't seem like even these awesome ones that I have are enough.  Why can't we collect friends as we go along and bring them with?  Why do people have to die? or move? or hurt us? or be hurt?  Why can't I just make some decision and deal with it, damn the consequences?  Why do we need to trust others or have faith?  Why doesn't 3 days seem like enough for a break?  why does it cost so much to live in this part of the country? why haven't I traveled more? what good does all this questioning do?

I now have 9 'new' pieces of clothing and wonder about the effects of SuperSize Me.  Is it a mere coincidence that I finished watching that movie shortly before walking out the door, only to discover that pant sizes that have always welcomed me into their legs now might not even let me button them?  Did having (a tiny amount) of icecream for breakfast break all hell loose?  Have I gained a (substitute wine/mixed drinks for:) beerbelly?  More weight would be fine- I'm not suggesting otherwise- I'm just confused that in the course of a few days, I can go from drowning in clothes to overflowing them.  Maybe it's that last time, it was at a department store (meaning this thrift-store stint may have shrunken clothes)?  Anyway, all that to say that I now have a wider variety of 'work clothes,' and I don't know how to accommodate my expanding (no pun intended) wardrobe to a presentable state for my parents' arrival next Saturday.  I won't be home 'til Wednesday night, so maybe I should plan from afar? or kick thing under the bed like I did growing up?  My walls are so bare, though- it's time to break out the hammer & nails!

I think I intended to compare Perfect Stranger w/ another movie, but now I can't think of what.  All I know is that  sans the excessive foul language, I thought it was riveting.  It is interesting how our experiences and perspectives change our view of reality.  <the other movie is Frequency, a favorite of mine- but now I'm tired of the computer, so won't do the topic justice at this time>

Lastly, I just want to say that although I love you, I do not want to marry you.  It seems rather natural to want a relationship with someone who is nice, likes you, treats you well, you find attractive, have numerous commonalities- but why?  And what does it take to leave it at being friends?  There are plenty of people that I value- is it fair of them to think they're different than anyone else in the world?  Is it fair of me to get upset?  I think it is great when we are comfortable around each other and feel accepted, et cetera.   When does that go too far?  Why do I sound so self-centered?  Happy Saturday.