You know when you suddenly are able to focus on and accomplish some pretty neat, albeit random tasks while avoiding
others?  yeah- that's where I'm at now.  I can't actually point to many meaningful accomplishments tonight, unless snacking, updating this blog & getting ready for bed counts.  My stubbornness (and laziness?!) is preventing me from taking the necessary steps to prepare for tomorrow's estate sale.  I have many theories as to why this hump is difficult to get over, but exploring those will only get me further from that goal.

In the meantime, I am enjoying writing this :), chatting with friends, and cuddling in my cozy, monsteresque fleece pjs.
As much as I enjoy having housemates, they don't (and shouldn't) offer everything I need.  An affectionate pet may help (in the cuddling category), but I'll hold out for a guy & the right time.

good night 

I'd say, "yes" more often.  :)

This weekend was great and was just the right length!

It began with a road adventure.  I decided to take the train home and then drive to our crocheting get-together.  I rarely went over 8 mph (while driving) and all-told spent 90 minutes on what normally would be a 35 minute trip.  Guess what?  I was in such a good mood that it didn't phase me!  I did not get upset or tense.  Driving or at least stop-and-go can be so aggravating!  thank God for peace and calm and all these wonderful people and experiences He's allowed me to be part of!  So, as I approach the destination city, I call the host and she says matter-of-factly, "Want to meet downtown SS instead?  Our building might be on fire."  So we do (it was an isolated fire in an apartment complex) and it is fun.  There is a welcoming, shiny-decorated plaza for us to escape to.  Seriously, I saw it and thought, "Nothing else matters right now.  It's as if bad traffic or fires don't exist!"

Saturday, I swam and helped others swim.  Then, I went over to Dave's (he randomly brought strangers to another mall, which seems like a good example of the kind guy he is) and we and his cousin drove to The National Mall.  Dave actually drove my car there so I could eat lunch.  :)  That was adventurous- I had directions for the opposite direction, and we ended up looping a few times before crossing the river and making it there.  We had hoped to ice skate, but it didn't work out, so will another, less busy time.  Instead, we enjoyed the nice, warm, magnificent National Gallery of Art.  Dave's cousin was an art major, so we benefited from his insight.   I can't describe how wonderful it is to do normal things with the people I care about!  Just walking and talking and holding hands (well, hands with just one person).  I also thought it was great to later find out that Dave and I can both be right!  We wondered which artist did the haystack paintings (in different times of day and of the year) and we sound out both Van Gogh and Monet did.  To me, it represented hope that future perceived differences or arguments could end so easily- everyone wins!
Then, I babysat for 3 girls, ages 4 and 6.  much fun ensued.  Besides pretending to be the grandma in Little Red Riding Hood, and sharing fairy tales around the dinner table, we had all sorts of adventures!  They ran around a lot.  They also play 'doctor' well- attending to my pretend broken wrist.  The upstairs toilet overflowing (through the lightsockets below) was the only downside of the evening, besides the occasional, expected protest of "I don't want to...!"  Besides enjoying their enthusiasm and creative minds, I have to admit that is was pretty great to have the little one play with my hair and want to spend time with me, even if she just wanted an excuse to not sleep.

The work-week ended on a high note. :) Friday finally came, and even with a late night, the new day was welcoming. Things that might otherwise irritate or worse were brushed off or even accepted as part of life. I must have worn my rose-tinted glasses today. ;) I also listened to 'Nothing Better' by the Postal Service all day- literally. That was the only song I listened to from 7 a.m. to 5p.m. I don't normally obsess like that, but it really seemed to strike a chord. Plus, the twinge (or thensome) of sadness that I normally associate with P.S. was not there today, so it was extra nice to listen to it and only get good vibes. Afterwards, as I was driving around, I heard 'Apologize' by Timbaland four times (different radio stations). Then, I came home and have heard it more since then via youtube. I was familiar with the song because of its use during a beautifully powertful performance on 'So You Think You Can Dance.'  The song seems really fitting for a friend who is having a hard time with family. There is a lot of hurt going on and the song at the very least is really emotional, as they are. When, if ever, is it too late to try to work things out? What song has been stuck in your head, or has been especially meaningful to you lately?

high risk, that is.  Timelines are a dangerous thing!  yet perhaps helpful, at least at in getting a grasp on what we want or hope to attain.  I've shared such a wishlist with a friend.  We'll see what happens.  I can say that babies aren't looking so scary :) but that they're not on that timeline.

and that friends can sure pull the guilt card.  One risk about sharing your life with someone is when they bring up decisions you've made in the past.  'tis good to be realistic and get shot down sometimes (i say as staggering around clutching the felt heart-wound).

Tips to sleep well:
*let go of what's stressing you
*'count your blessings instead of sheep'
*drink something warm shortly before getting into bed
*toss your comforter in the dryer for a lil while before bringing it to bed with you
*darken your room- this can include using heavy, dark curtains

If I can wake up at 6-something like usual and then continue to sleep 'til 9:45, that's saying something.  Maybe some of the above tips helped.  Maybe I really was fatigued- it's been an emotionally-trying week.  Most of it was positive-very good, exciting developments.  There has been a lot of other life mixed in there as well- at least seeing (consequently feeling) the sadness and pain that others feel. Do you have any 'good night's sleep' pointers?

I've been on the receiving end of some really sweet gestures lately. Some day, I may share what they were or give suggestions of nice things to do for others. Not tonight. I'm a bit wiped out right now. I can say that I am happy with the way things are going right now, for the most part. There is a whole lot to process, though- or maybe processing is asking too much.

Regardless... I have been very impressed with people lately. Not the general public, but specific people I know or have gotten to know. and it's been good to see people where they're at and with what they're dealing with. and hard. There's this co-worker who has been having a tough life- you can just see the pain on his face- and I wrote him an encouraging, honest note, and he wrote me a post-it saying how much it meant and handed it to me with tears in his eyes. It might be painful for guys to see gals cry, but I assure you it works both ways. You know something is majorly wrong or at least that a guy feels really comfortable around you when you see that.
Then, there are the strangers on the Metro. Some people are really comfortable chatting it up with each other. That is me sometimes (thanks, Dad). Today, it was with two guys who stood with me most of the journey home. One (50-something?) was nostalgic about the past and change. He talked about Ft Lauderdale (sound familiar?) and how much it's changed over the years and mentioned death a few times (his parents) and traveling and life. He didn't seem to get me not living near my family. He made it seem like a matter of time before I'd go 'home.' Maybe he thought I was a college student? Maybe his perspective on what is important in life tailored his opinion? Irregardless, it was interesting. The other guy 30or 40-something) seemed more adventurous, but that could have just been his outfit and stance. He mostly stuck to the topic of public transportation vs private (cost, etc). Talking helped us all connect and for me at least distracted from the tight quarters and 'long' ride. I dropped out of the conversation when they talked about sports at the end.

The last thing I will write about is that my great-grandma died last weekend. I didn't know 'til today, and that upset me. I thought maybe my family was trying to hide it from me until I came home again (as a way of protecting me). I hadn't called last weekend, so maybe i was to 'blame.' Anyway, I found out in a backwards way when my aunt e-mailed an article about my G-Gma. I thought, 'Oh, how interesting! I wonder why the newspaper interviewed her?' Then I saw that it was an obituary. Lately, she hadn't been doing well, so it was time for her to go... She would have been 88 later on this month.  After talking with relatives, one of whom thought I knew, it was apparent that it was just a matter of time before they told me. They are all going through their own thing processing it. We didn't spend a lot of time together, so maybe I can share all my memories here: 1) Sad Sam in tow, we visit my great-grandparents (maternal side). After talking outside with a cousin who was fake-baked way too dark, we milled around the house and backyard for a bit. (great-)Grandma W___'s favorite candy, saltwater taffy, was offered. When we're back in the car, I ask about Sad Sam's story. (I was probably 6), When I was born, my great-grandparents gave it to me as a gift. It was my favorite stuffed animal (dog) that I carried around since then. 2) In high school, my great-grandparents lived in Texas. I'm pretty sure my grandparents went to visit them, but that means a long road trip... but regardless, we were given the hugest oranges with the thinnest peels I've ever had, from the Mexican border. My brother may have gotten a cowboy hat, and me an ivory stone elephant. 3) 2006: visited Great-Grandma in the nursing home. She looked so tiny and fragile. We brought her pictures from over the years, and all went in a room to spread them out and hear stories. She had a positive attitude and seemed to enjoy it.
I'll conclude with the thought of unfulfilled dreams. I thought it would be neat to have a 5-generation picture taken with some future child of mine, up through Great-Grandma. She was the last great-grandparent of ours. I was bummed until I decided to be there for future generation pictures. I plan on living long, at least. I guess I haven't done them an age-favor, though ;). (The average age for Mom, Gma & G-GMa having their daughters is 20.)

I want to see big, real, decorated Christmas trees.  I think listening to Christmas music triggered it.  and seeing snow in the forecast.  and realizing it's December already!  I remember last year, I went down to Chicago with my dad, and went to some old stomping grounds- places along Michigan Ave, I'm sure.  It was nice walking around and looking at window displays and spending time with Dad and remembering past winter seasons.  Going up several flights of escalators and still not seeing reaching the top of a Christmas tree!  So now I am thinking about iceskating and hot cocoa and building snowmen.  and brownies.  and the song phrase "I've got my love to keep me warm."  In a sense, it can be empowering to be excited about something or someone and to use that feel-good energy to keep a positive outlook on other aspects of life and to maybe even feel warmer, because if we're up in the clouds, not really experiencing life as harshly (or accurately) as before, than maybe we don't notice realities such as a fierce, cold wind trying to push us around.  'Love' could also be a person, and a nice hug could do the trick.  Before I get to far-stretched, I'll go back to work.  :)