I am what I eat.  Or at least I smell like it (according to Amber).  I guess in processing the food (spices, especially) my body likes to release it through my pores.  Or maybe having large pores makes me more obivous than others.  In either case, I think that may be what happens with how I ingest non-foods, too.  It just comes out through my skin.  This may be in my posture or smile or sad eyes.  I'd like to think that I can be composed, and that I can keep myself together when there's a lot to deal with, but I know that's not always the case.  There are certain people I can't hide from, including my mom.  And I don't even have to see her- I just hear her voice, and I can't hold my pain/what's going on in.   That's why I avoid her when life's in limbo.  I don't want to worry her, so I might not talk with her for a few days until it seems more stable (or when a call is overdue).  I'd like to be transparent, but not to everyone everywhere.  Not everyone cares (about the truth), so why burden them?  They've got enough stuff to deal with on their own.  I know I could go to my friends when I need support, but for whatever reason, I often choose to bare my own load.  All this is stemming because of my work situation.  Once again, there was something I should be doing (overheard the lady complaining) so I approached her, and tried talking to her, but she said she'd take care of it from them on (when obviously she doesn't want to, and it's something I could easily do).  Is that what I do when I try to manage everything myself and don't count/lean on my friends?  Do I complain and try to do it all, when it'd be so much better to swallow my pride and ask for some help?

The birthday party was a blast!  I was concerned because there was drinking and talking about drinking, so I thought Amber would be very uncomfortable/upset, but there was also college basketball on TV, and good company, so it all worked out.  We got off the highway early to avoid tolls, and drove by some of the most beautiful homes I've seen.  Winding roads, white "horse fences," hills...  I definitely want to 'garage sale' there.  It just seemed like a nice break, like a drive through the Midwest.  There is still land in Maryland, but not that much, and there is a ton of traffic and businesses.  I guess the Reston (city of party) Town Center is a model for future communities.  I think it's a combination of business offices, shopping, and entertainment.  That also seemed like a cool place to visit.  The party was definitely low-key, with about a dozen of us mingling.  The food was great and homemade.  The architecture was great, too- there was a table/chair display on a groove probably 10 feet in the air.  I like nooks and crannies.  Crooks and grannies sometimes, too.  Not much more to say about that.  It was just easy to talk with everyone, and good times to be had (we left after midnight, I think).