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| doors |
| 05.31.06 (9:26 am) [edit] |
I had just finished playing some version of chess in which the king could go in any direction that it's clear- not only across the board once, but as many as it's free- like a ping pong. It was more like checkers, with my opponent knocking off multiple pieces in one 'move.' I was upset. I'm just beginning to learn chess- researching it a bit, attempting to play the computer- but I don't have the rules down. I don't know who I played, but I was also babysitting/hanging out with some 5th-grade girls, and they were still hyper and wanted to stick around, but I sent them off away from my all dark-red room. It was time for me to just take a shower and get ready for bed. For whatever reason, a guy wanted to vacuum my room or something of the sort- although the room was decorated nicely and felt very homey, I think I was at a camp. When I went in the blue bathroom and tried to lock the door for some privacy, it just wouldn't work. The frame was a normal one, but the door was one like on a submarine or spaceship- heavy and gray and yellow, in an odd shape- coming up a few feet from the ground. Still, I tried to shut and lock it (it also had a heavy-duty lock that is very secure once it's set. No success. Maitenance guys came, removed that door, and simply closed the one that was already attached (how could I have missed it in the first place?)- it resembled a locker door- very thin- I could dent it with my hand- and the lock was a simple flimsy one like on bathroom doors (it was a bathroom after all). So now, having woken, I wonder if that door isn't my boundaries. I know that sometimes, I put walls up and make some ridiculous(debatable) rules- trying to protect myself. That doesn't work, and doesn't help relationships, generally. I wonder what that 'normal,' previously-unseen door represents? I definitely think there's something to it being thin and yet a good barrier. It's vulnerable, yet does its job. It's good to know that if I passed out or whatever, someone could get to me. That's the selfish aspect. I don't know of an aspect that's not, but I do know that I normally get a lot from dreams.
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