in the midst of a time when we're trying to be told how alike we all are, where the differences are neglected (by myself as well, disregarding the other part of society that can't seem to see any similarities and builds walls up), I'm telling you that there are differences, good and bad- and in my example today, between men and women.  Now part of me wants to back it up with research and quotes and all that, and while there is some of that background to what I'm saying, I can't promise more than musings.  There will definitely be generalizations going on, and most of it will be from my limited personal experiences.  My thought of the day is focused on details and ambiguities.  Let's say, for instance, that I were talking with Lady A, and she were talking about her fiance (or some other significant guy in her life)- and after I inquired further into her story and paid attention and all that, but then when the opportunity presented itself, I began to talk about Gentleman C- she would be wise to observe that I am interested in that guy, because even if I were talking about it as calmly as possible, and about something as mundane such as "He's a Nationals' fan" it's obvious that I must hold him highly to follow up her fiance.  It doesn't matter what other connections there are in the conversation- whether both guys are into baseball, or whether I deny it or not, there has to be some good reason that I'd be talking about him.  The good thing about girls, is that we let each other into our worlds and let us know what's up.  We give details, sometimes unprovoked.  It always help when you're interested or ask questions, pick up on the hints, but sometimes we'll say anyways.  Then again, while there are some direct women, I'm not friends with too many of them- so you may not know what we're actually saying.  You may think we're just blabbering or can't handle silence, but really, there are important things between the lines.  I see it as a sort of puzzle.  Figuring out what someone feels/thinks about just about anything/anyone.  Where it gets dangerous is when I try to do that to guys.  Does "hi" really mean "I'm really into you"?  Does not picking up on the cues and answering in-depth mean you're not?  Sometimes, I believe that men know what's going on for the most part, and play dumb, and other times, they seem like they have to be dumb to not respond in such a way that I know they know, whether or not they want to act/talk like women do!  Now I appreciate men, and am glad that it's not only women (or the way women work) in the world- it does make it interesting, but also frustrating.  I just think it's fascinating to see what we can learn about each other (men and women alike), and I've really enjoyed talking with women lately and knowing what's going on in their worlds.  It's also been slightly frustrating because while I need to put effort out to be understood in almost any sense with guys, with ladies lately, it's almost like I need to put a wall up to shield from their knowing eyes.  Part of it is their 'womens' intuition' and part is that I share more with them than w/ men.  who knows?  it's all fascinating to me.

and I didn't get the job at church.  I'm sad, but OK.  if it was supposed to happen, it would have.  it's just another area of my life that's murky.  at least my current job is fine, and this is day two of my two-day workweek!!  it's been a tough one, and I'm ecstatic about this road trip!  in 24 hours from this moment, we should be in Ohio, on the road for 7 hours already.  Ohio is the cheapest state for gas for this trip- in the 2.40s where I'm planning to stop!!

one other positive: it is so good that our lives are spaced out.  i know some people experience sorrow and their lives changing rapidly, and I thank God they have enough strength to go through that, but I was looking for an old e-mail yesterday, and skimmed quite a few months worth of drama and I was overwhelmed and so happy that it took place over so much time instead of like one weekend.  i don't think i'd still be friends with this person (assuming I hadn't died in the process- I felt awful with only a tiny summary of what we'd been through) to say the least- all I know is that life can be tough, but worth it, and I thank God for good friends that stick by.