I don't know what I was talking about the other day when I said I was over any sort of guy thing.  The most honest way I can come up with to describe that is to say that I pushed aside any notion of remotely liking a certain guy because nothing's happened so far.  That's my excuse too often in situations- I'm working on being more pro-active.  Like a guy told me last night, I can have any guy I want.  Now, I recognize how conceited that sounds.  My theory is that anyone can have anyone, and if they can't (the person doesn't give them the time of day) then he/she isn't worth your time.  I'd like to say no one's too good for someone else, but there certainly are jerks and low-lifes out there, so I can't honestly say that.  So, I'm being pro-active in a way, but I'm used to not dating... ok, that's a bunch of crap.  I'm not really sure what I'm up to- I even stayed up late talking with Amber about it last night.  All I know is that just 'cause the timing hasn't worked out before doesn't mean it never will, unless it's not supposed to... (is that vague enough for you? ;) I want to be upfront, but am being a bit shy, so I won't say who- only that I feel too logical about it sometimes, fearing I'd end up killing him unwittingly and literally; and even though there are great guys out in this Mid-Atlantic, it's not one of them.)

I feel immature and in a strange place right now, so I won't say much more at the moment.

I visited my neighbor-friends again.  Unfortunately, it echoes a little of summer '02.  That was when I had just finished my first semester at NCU, just broken up with my boyfriend, and was in a rebellious/experimental-i n-a-sitback-sort-of-way stage.  I could bore you with details of what that was like, but suffice to say that it was boring, and was a major contributing factor to my whole '6-month rule' about waiting to date again.  These neighbors at least talk with me.  It hasn't been boring.  I'll hang out with them again, and it's nice having a place I know I'm welcome.  Now if only I can find women to set them up with, maybe they'll leave me be.  It's nice having options- knowing that if I wanted to go fishing or dance or whatever, there's someone more than willing, but then again, I most likely won't, because I see nothing happening there and I don't want to lead anyone on.  it is pretty flattering, though

so I've got to go chill out now and not get into my 'lists' mind-set.  There's only so much you can do on your own.  At some point, I've got to listen to God and let Him take control and not try to make sense of everything/anything, and I want that time to be now :)