Nothing beats a cheerful person in the morning.  Unless it is a crabby person (beating them, I mean).  All kidding aside, this Friday morning has been rather good, in part because of friendly people this morning!  It's not good for my pride, though.  It's already been stoked by various incidents recently, and needs a pinprick, not more fuel.  Attention is rather flattering, I have to admit.

For whatever reason, drama has been so appealing lately.  My theory is that it's a combination of influences and preferences.  Drama seems to have always been part of my life, and I can't say that I don't often enjoy it.  It makes life interesting and fun.  It also causes pain and confusion.  So to some extent, I'm a willing participant or even instigator of it.  On the other hand, I've been reading Emma, by Jane Austen, and that is full of more drama and love triangles than anything I've encountered in quite a while.  Again, I don't know if it's something I inherently like or what, but I'm (nearly) always cheering for people to get together, especially when they both like each other.  I cheer, or at least want to, when it gets to that point in a book or movie.  and also in real life.  At the same time, I'm not totally comfortable with it in my own life.  It's still interesting, but I'm balancing between liking not knowing exactly how things are (is he interested? what is my behavior doing to influence that?) and not wanting to play around, to get straight to the point.  I want to be fair to people and not do the unfortunately- stereotypical bad thing women do sometimes, that is, string guys along.  As one fellow blogger recently encouraged me to do, I'll work on 'snubbing' the guy/idea when he takes my smile as meaning anything more than I intend it to.  It's all so complicated!  It's hard for me to separate what I think/feel from the type of feedback and attention and such that I get.