My blog entries have been short lately.  Brace yourself for a massive one today!

Some (including myself) may say that I analyze things to death.  I've got to process my surroundings one way or another.  Some say, "Just breathe.  Calm down."  That's hard to do.  I've been stopping the madness lately, allowing quiet times where I'm not listening to music or working on something or keeping as busy as usual.  I've even stopped my mind from thinking about more than two things at once!

My perspective on things/my boxes have been challenged and stretched, maybe even broken lately.  At least there are holes in them.  When I meet someone, I categorize them.  Not at that exact moment, but later on, when I'm processing our conversation and trying to make sense of them.  In some ways, all sorts of people have some thing in common, but in other ways, every person is different.  (is that a wishy-washy statement or what?!)  In some ways, I adjust to change quickly (like adjusting to different time zones), but as far as new ideas?  I don't know if it's stubbornness or self-righteousness or fear, but it's sure hard to do!  One major thing I've been thinking about lately has been dating.  I can't seem to help thinking about and analyzing it.  I want to chill out and try to not make everything into a science.  Not everything can be dissected and put into formulas.  Even now, I'm wondering how much I should share or work out here.  But who knows?  Maybe it'll be somewhat interesting or useful to someone.

I internalize and personalize just about everything.  I often think, "How does this apply to me?"  I also have a hard time reconciling differences with how things are and how they've been.  I see that just 'cause things happened a certain way before doesn't mean that was the best way to go about it or anything of the sort.  Sometimes it feels like I've lived several lifetimes.  It can be so fun to try new things and meet new people and go on adventures...  Maybe I need to learn that I can't know everything, and it can't all be explained.  I probably don't want to know everything either.

so I guess this isn't nearly long as I thought it would be.  I'll add more later if I feel inspired to- for now, I'll just move on to subdivision news:

Saturday night/early Sunday morning (didn't look at clock), I was woken up by search helicopters.  They shone floodlights all around the area, over and over again.  It seemed like they were searching for someone.  I was tempted to go outside, but didn't see what good that would do (plus, I  really wanted to sleep!).  I heard some men at some point, but that very well could have been the neighbors.  I planned on watching the news in the morning, but was so tired, I just got up enough time to get ready for the day.  Then Sunday evening, Amber said something about a television station van/camera, etc. being set up down the street.  We went past there on our walk.  A small crowd had gathered, mostly kids under 8.  The tidbits that the reporter shared revealed that a high school junior had been allegedly raped the night before, and the suspect(s) had yet to be found.  Recently, I had thought about how quiet and safe our neighborhood is- how it's nice to feel OK walking home from the bus late at night.  Not that I do that all the time, but I don't always want to drive or have to get picked up.  and Amber's great, but if she's already sleeping or whatever, I'd hate to wake her for such a small thing.  or is it that small of a thing if it means peace of mind knowing I'd most likely make it home safely if she picked me up?  It's really frustrating.  and I sound insensitive- I think it's awful that a young lady got raped.  how disgusting.  I wish it didn't happen.  I don't mean to only apply it to how it affects me.  At the same time, I think we can learn a lot from each other, and I want to be aware of my surroundings.  I also think it sucks that I shouldn't even mention the particulars of the media that was there.  I'd like to link to the story, but with how crazy things can be, I don't want to put myself or anyone else in a potential stalker/dangerous situation.  It was nice when my job was walking distance from campus and I had great friends that would walk with me.  I no longer am in school or in that city- totally different situation.  I wouldn't trade for it now.  I am happy where I'm at on multiple levels.