preservation
self-preservation
selfishness
protecting others

I had a great weekend.  Checked out a new place to live.  Met some cool potential housemates.  Made it safely during the storm (referencing previous post).  Took a long time, but was safe.  Now I'm trying to stay awake.  Not too much longer here.  I'm trying to enjoy life now, instead of planning and hoping for the future.  I've been having an overall good time with that. :)
I'm expressive.  Maybe not to the extent of my favorite actor/-tress friends, but if you care to look, you'll know if I'm disturbed or gleeful.  I can hardly contain myself, sometimes.  Other times, I'm the smiling friendly person- and I don't need sunglasses to hide my hurt, because I can hold it together.  I'd rather not.  I want to be honest- and if I feel crappy or upset 1) I want to be OK feeling that way for that period of time 2) I want to (and will) get over it, Lord-willingly.  Of course, I don't want to bring others down, but it's not honest and it's even trapping to pretend everything's alright.  People suck sometimes.  I feel grey sometimes.  People are amazing and so worth loving other times.  People can radiate love.  Why do stiffed animals and little kids get all the hugs?