then I've got a one-track mind lately.  and what are nightmares, then? fears visualized?

Why is it so hard to stop from loving someone I've decided to not?  This is both someone who has enough things (perhaps) against her to merit at least my non-approval of her, and yet as much as she frustrates me, I can't seem to help caring about her and thinking she's valuable.  and then there's this guy whom I've also decided to only love to some limit, and yet I'm still hurt that he's also limited that love.  I want him to enjoy life and love freely, but it hurts that it's not with me.  I definitely can't have 'Love FREELY' where Love=heart on my license plate.  I thought i'd like a positive message for people to read on my behind, but maybe that'll have to be those booty pants.  I'd already decided that the message is too big for me and that I can't fully endorse it while I was in line at the DMV this past weekend.  A teenage couple that basically had sex standing up grossed out my PDA-loving self gave me a clear sign that I couldn't actually say 'Love freely' and mean it.  Maybe in small doses- but that's not freely.  (I partially wanted 'freely' 'cause of my affection for 'ly.)  Anyway, even though it's good to care and I'm glad that I'm tending towards love, I wanted to acknowledge the pain we all feel sometimes.