this may be messy.  As I've said too often today, "That is life."

I'm tapping my fingers as a way to vent anger.  As much as I know it's good to not take things personally and to breathe deep and all that, I'm not doing so well.  I think it boils down to not liking things (noise particularly) interrupting my flow.  This is most apparent on public transportation, in libraries & less so at work.  I think I may even be racist in this regard.  As much as I like people in general & in specific, those I've met, I have a hard time not grouping & stereotyping them.  I make it a point to not look at who the obnoxious drivers are, so I don't stereotype in that regard.  In close quarters, though, it's hard not to observe & classify some things.  I tried meditating on various quiet things while on the bus today.  I wondered what it would be like to be a leaf, etc. but then I heard the abrasive voices even moreso.  I'm sooo glad that I don't have kids right now.  They tend to interrupt flows and as much as I'd like to believe that I'd have more patience and love for them, I don't buy it.  I send too many hate-rays.  I'm trying to stop.  I wonder if they can make a patch for that?  Breathing deeply doesn't seem to help.  Seeing them as a human being, thus imperfect, does not help.  Seeing them as having something unique to bring to society somewhat helps- but I still want to escape the situation ASAP.  I'm sure I'll learn something from all that...

Speaking of learning, I'm teaching myself how to be friends with guys in a different sort of situation.  Normally, it comes from close-proximity due to school or work.  Now, it was a sort of fluke.  I met another striped-shirt guy on the Metro- this one talked to me.  The ball's in my court- I don't want to share too much personal info with him.  We're meeting tomorrow at a public event with some co-worker friends of mine.  The only thing I'm kinda paranoid about is that he said I looked American (as opposed toa  specific ethnic groups I descend from).  That, and the random way we met makes me pray to God he doesn't think I'm easy.  If anything, I'll hang out with him in group settings and become friends.  I don't want to waste his time either if that's what he's looking for.

Anyway, work is crazy, life is good.  Welcome to a new week.