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The snow collects the good with the bad, as can be seen when it melts. This blog is my snow, holding onto my experiences. |
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posted by: squirrelzone (reply) post date: 09.14.07 (8:42 am) I think that if a woman has more to offer than just sex one might see another side of a man. Something more to think about. posted by: Chuck (reply) post date: 09.14.07 (2:40 pm) Sex has definitely been overemphasized in American culture, whether to the extreme of promiscuity or the extreme of puritanism. In my marriage, I've found that emotional and intellectual connection--and just being best friends--is far more valuable than sex. Sex, I believe, should be viewed more as a catalyst to a happier, healthier (and larger ;)) family and less as the defining point in a relationship (as I've seen it addressed more and more in popular magazines). My wife and I have three cockatiels, and it is intriguing to watch their mating habits because birds are one of the only animal groups who are generally monogamous--they stay with the same partner their whole lives. With three birds (two male, one female), however, there is a kind of love triangle. Oddly, I've noticed that sex is less a problem in this setup than the susequent nesting. Both males generally tolerate the other having sex with the female, but when it comes to protecting the female in her nest, there is far more friction. They will have miniature cock fights at times over the nesting responsibilities. I wonder if this could say anything about the role of sex in humans' lives. Certainly I'm not advocating threesomes, but on the other hand, the birds seem to understand the sex process more as simply one of many creature comforts entitled to all animals, along with eating and sleeping (they actually probably fight more over those last two areas). Now, in the birds' case, there are no other possible sex partners so any "promiscuity" is justified (and perhaps even an expression of love between the males), whereas as humans have numerous possibilities and should stay with one person only. But nevertheless, I was very intrigued by the priorities of our birds--raising the family was the ultimate desire. I think the same should be true among humans. (Of course, this analogy is not perfect; I'm not sure whether birds derive much sexual pleasure like humans do, so perhaps sex is not so extremely desirable. However, they do experience the same hormone fluctuations as women do when ovulating, and just as scientific research has shown that women want sex much more when ovulating, I have no doubt the same hormones make the act very desirable for the birds, whether or not it is physically pleasurable for them.) Our birds' love triangle is a very interesting case study; the two males actually were a bonded pair before the female entered the picture. So it's kind of like this weird polygynous marriage where the two males are also best friends from childhood. I wonder what fun a psychoanalyst could have with this? lol posted by: SparklingSnow (reply) post date: 09.25.07 (6:11 am) Reply to: squirrelzone Hmmm... I don't quite get it. I think that a woman offering more than her body is an important thing. I don't know of anyone who is up for only the sexual aspect of a relationship w/ truly no strings attached. It's not sustainable. posted by: SparklingSnow (reply) post date: 09.25.07 (6:30 am) Reply to Chuck: interesting insight into birds' sex lives. It is good to remember that in human relationships, it is not the end-all be-all. |
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