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| pleasure-seeker |
| 01.06.08 (7:31 pm) [edit] |
... even a hot bath that leaves my pulse through the roof is gratifying. Does life have to go my way for me to be happy? no. but usually it helps. I don't think I'm isolating myself, but I know it's possible, even in a room full of people. Maybe I have been distancing myself and stacking those heavy stones around me, hoping someone will come in and embrace me, holding me up as we walk through the gap before I close it. Maybe that's a passive-aggressive way of thinking, which apparently no one really gains much from. Maybe I need to look elsewhere- that always helps me gain perspective, maybe even discrediting the immensity with which my happenings had previously seemed. How do you deal with wants and hopes and dreams in a world that they can't or shouldn't (at least currently) happen? It sucks. Sometimes, i try to be reasonable and even change what i want, hoping that helps. Occasionally it does. Sometimes, I emotionally beat myself up over stuff like that. "You can't have that- get over it! Why do we keep coming back to this?" Sometimes, I'm nicer, "The timing's just not right. Put off until x, y & z happens. and don't worry, x, y & z will happen and it will be totally worth it!" I've had better times as a 20-something. Or at least I was more comfortable where I was at. I still believe such things as, "It will all work out in the end." and "Each day is a new beginning." 12 Stones is at least helping. They're echoing some of my cries and so forth. There's something about their harsh loudness (to my tamer-music ears), electric guitar and drums that is letting me process a little. |
posted by: OldSchool (reply)
post date: 01.06.08 (5:27 pm)
I can remember where you are coming from. One philosophy that helps me cope is "Everything happens for a reason." Your time will come.
Please stay in touch and check out my blog. I have a feeling you will enjoy it. It just started, but it will continue to evolve. Take care of yourself!
posted by: SparklingSnow (reply)
post date: 01.06.08 (5:58 pm)
Reply to: OldSchool
Thanks for the encouragement.
posted by: (reply)
post date: 01.06.08 (8:16 pm)
Yeah 12 stones that's the way to rebel from your tame tame life lol
posted by: SparklingSnow (reply)
post date: 01.07.08 (5:39 am)
Reply to anon:
haha- I'd scowl at you if my goal was to be rebellious.