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| to be 20 again |
| 11.27.04 (10:35 pm) [edit] |
what would that be like? would I know and have experienced what I have past then, and remember it? would it be a clean slate? I would be in my second semester at North Central, would have recently finished working at Six Flags (or if it were August, I could still be doing that). . I'm just imagining my day-to-day life then, and all of the people I hadn't met yet, including cool roommates, friends, Aaron . . back then I did imagine I'd either be graduated already this past May, or would be soon- so I'm about in the same place (minus the major- back then I was Psychology, before that Children's Ministry; now I'm T.E.F.L)- yet I'm also not in the same place, because I couldn't imagine the many journeys I've been on, on more of an emotional level.My mind has been everywhere today, and I've talked a little about it w/ my co-worker tonight, the first times he's worked with me- I hope he didn't get super annoyed or anything. He was pretty trapped there- but I guess he probably has the skills to shut somebody up . . anyways, one thing I've been thinking about (surprise!) is what in the world will happen to me after I graduate! Only a few weeks left. I'll work up 'til Christmas, go 'home' to Wisconsin, and hopefully head West to work in California in January. But what about emotions/relationships? About the only person I'll know out there is Aaron- at least we've met more than a couple times- and I've been imagining the support and love from my family, and from living in the dorms, and I imagine a cold, individual world before me. Is it time for me to stop receiving from others, and to solely give? I'm definitely a feedback person! I get really bummed when I'm ignored- and although it hurts to hear negative things/criticism, it is really important to me to hear the truth. So I'm glad I'm 22, not 20. I'm happy with where I'm at, with everything it holds for me- good and bad. Plus, there will never be a time that isn't confusing. |
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